Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Completely Inappropriate Facebook Statuses

A compilation of fake (and real) statuses that would be completely inappropriate to announce on the fbook:

_______ is really gassy today. I knew I should have take beano!

_______ loves the cock.

_______ dislikes everyone else's statuses.

_______ has facebook stalked you before.

_______ is watching some awesome porn while facebook chatting!

_______ just cut his toenails. They were getting really long!

_______ is seven and a half inches. Booyah.

_______ is fleeing the scene of a crime!

_______ is actually Batman (only applies to Bruce Wayne's profile)

_______ HAS P.M.S. SO BAD!!!

_______ is giving a BJ right now.

_______ is still pregnant? Not for long...

_______ doesn't like being called clinically obese!!!

_______ is a bit confused about vaginas.

_______ hopes that all the people who weren't invited to my party don't find out about it!

_______ is DRUNKK and JSUT got in the CAR!!1 WHere are myt keys/? (fb mobile shoutout!)

_______ thinks my girlfriend is a BITCH!!!

_______ just slept with my ex because my BOYFRIEND CALLED ME A BITCH ONLINE!!!

_______ is considering a sex change.

_______ still can't believe that I won the scholarship! Thank you, copy and paste!

_______ is naked and eating donuts in bed.

_______ is at work but still totally high...

_______ has swine flu :'( 

_______ is bicurious...anyone up for some experimenting?

_______ just noticed the house is on fire!! Calling 911 on skype right now...

_______ is on fire!!!! OMG where are the firefighters? ouch!

_______ just died :( 

_______ is resting in peace.



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